Does anyone want to edit my resume?

Xiao Dong

1477 Sherwood Mills Road
Mississauga, Ontario
L5V 1R8
Cell: (647) 328 6613
E-mail: xiao_here@hotmail.com
________________________________________________________________________

Employment Objective:

To seek a challenging position in an environment that would enable me to make a significant contribution by utilizing my skills and training.

Skills Inventory:

-Effectively communicates in AutoCad and Solid Edge (in 2 and 3 dimensional environments)
-Supportive and conscientious team member
-Adaptable in multi-disciplinary cognitive and artistic environments
-Efficient in Microsoft Word, Office, Excel and Power Point

Strengths and Achievements:

-Had personal Surrealist Artwork displayed at the Brampton Library, in the Mayfield Newspaper and for Students Against Social Injustice (visual arts political lobbyist group)
-Received 8 years of formal training in Mandarin dialect
-Enrolled in the enhanced program for gifted children in high school
-Practiced Piano at a grade 8 royal conservatory level
-As the Chief Editor of the Art’s section, directed, wrote and did legal research for both the SASI and Mayfield Newspaper (example: protested the privatization of MRI clinics)

Education:

University of Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario September 04, May 07
Majored in Psychology and English

Mayfield Secondary School, Brampton September 01 to July 2004
Received College equivalent Diploma in Visual Arts

Xiao Dong

Professional Experience:

Fulton Engineered Specialties, Brampton, Ontario June 2007- September 2008
Engineering Assistant / Office Administrator
-Recorded data accurately in both accounts receivable and accounts payable enabling company director to forecast future monetary transactions
-Responsible for the interpretation, revision, completion, and translation of mechanical drawings extracted through various mediums and representations
-Designed cutting, burning and milling programs for machine operators using employment specific software
-Compiled 2-D mathematical design calculations derived from engineering programs

Picture Plus Painting Store, Brampton, Ontario September 2004 to June 2007
Retail Assistant
-Responsible for assisting manager in setting up store operations,
-Accountable for organization and arrangement of paintings
-Processed Transactions
-Performed translator functions for customers

Acupuncture Associates of Chesterfield County, Chester, PA July 2004-August 2004
Clinic Administrator
-Responsible for frontline contact via direct and telephone
-Arranged for medical appointments
-Retrieved money for services rendered at private clinic
-Maintained organization and sanitation of facility

Volunteer and Leadership Experiences:

Accessibility Centre at UTM September 2004 – May 2007
Program Organizer

University of Toronto Student Buddies May 2005 – September 2006
Web Page Designer and Advertising Director

Ste Louise Brampton Food bank November 2004 – May 2005
Food bank organizer

Zonta – Feminist Charity Organization September 2004 to June 2004
Executive Committee Member

References Available Upon Request

I don’t think writing “responsible for” or “accountable for” is a good idea as it’s not really a verb. Try “Interpreted, revised, completed, and translated mechanical drawings…” instead of “responsible for interpreting…” because the former is actually a verb-based list rather than just a list of words. Do the same for “accountable for.” Same with “had artwork displayed at…”: do “Displayed Surrealist Artwork at…” because displayed is a much stronger verb than had- “had” as in “I had breakfast this morning”? No, use displayed.

Also, all that you’ve done and are currently doing should still be written in past tense- I think you’ve done that correctly here but just keep that fact in mind.

I’ve never written “Refrences available upon request” on any of my resumes thus far and I hear it’s an outdated thing now, that people don’t write that at all now because there are now many more people looking for work than jobs available to them, so take that line off completely. If potential employers need references, they’ll tell you.

With all dates in the first half, use – not , or to and for most recent graduation can also just say May 2007 and not have to include Sep 2004 on there- but that’s up to you.

Also, since your professional section says “experience,” use the same word in the volunteer section – take the “s” off of “experiences” to keep consistent.

Below is an awesome source (website) on this, I’ve found it very helpful too. Also subscribe to emails from them- no spam, just helpful articles and tips!